


A Non-Itsy Bitsy (Teenie-Weenie) Yellow Polka Dot Bikini

by ffasa2018



Series: Original Work [1]
Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 12:28:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10741713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ffasa2018/pseuds/ffasa2018
Summary: Have you ever felt insecure about you body? Are you a bigger girl like me and feel like you can't ever wear one of those bikinis? My character feels the same, and finds her way though it. Read on to find out how.





	A Non-Itsy Bitsy (Teenie-Weenie) Yellow Polka Dot Bikini

**Author's Note:**

> For my college creative writing class. It was on breaking stereotypes. Constructive croticism welcome!

Summer Time. The first two words I see on the page of the magazine. The white-bean chicken chili I had for lunch rumbles in my stomach. I turn the page and there is that dreaded word: bikini. Mind you, I’m not a big girl. Well, that is to say, the biggest girl. My 160 pounds doesn’t seem like much, but put me in a one of those scraps of fabric that people love wearing to the beach and I am a size 10 sausage in a size 2 casing.  
My mom says she doesn’t mind me being this big, I mean hey, I’m smaller than some girls. But...I’m also the biggest in my grade, and there’s around 120 in my class. So..yeah. I am a big girl. But, this summer, I’m gonna do it. I’m going to wear that bikini that’s been in my closet for so long, but never had the courage to wear in public, even to our pool. It is going to happen. I am going to do it.  
“Hey Christy Kreme! I need help in the kitchen!” Well. . . maybe. OH! Hi, my name’s Christina Hernandez.  
I stare at another magazine my sister had left downstairs. Words came off the page and transformed in my mind. Bikini turns into fatkini, thigh gap turns into thunder thighs, and tan lines turn into . . .well, you get the picture. I shake my head again and go turn on the TV, grabbing the laptop on the way. I can’t think like that. No, I’m not in the past anymore. 

“G-O-O-G-L-E-.-C-O-M. If I’m gonna do this, I have to start somewhere don’t I Lucy?” My dog looked up at me, blinked, then put her head back down.  
“I’ll take that as a yes then.” I looked back to the screen, nodded and started looking. And looking. And looking. And now I’m getting depressed. Different articles jumped off the page at me. “17 Reasons Why Plus-Size Women Shouldn’t Wear Bikinis” and “Here’s Why Fat Girls Should Not Wear Bikinis to the Beach”. I shut the laptop and sigh. This was not making me feel any better. How am I supposed to actually wear a bikini if I can’t even make myself pick one up?  
“Shake it off Christy. You can do this. You can do this. You are a strong independent woman who doesn't need approval from anybody else. And now I sound like a movie, great.” I looked up as the end credits rolled and reopen the laptop again. Let’s try something different. If I want to it in a bikini, I probably need to lose some belly fat. I research “places to lose weight near me” in Google.  
Zumba Classes-dance fitness classes that are fun, and effective. “Ugh, thin girls in Victoria’s Secret clothes wearing leggings and sports bras and showing off their toned stomachs that don’t need anymore toning. Next.”  
“Hey. I’m one of those girls.” I sigh and look over at my sister.  
“Yeah, I know. You already have like, 23 swimsuits that you fit into perfectly. Why do you even need to go?” Cassie sighed, and flipped her pin-straight hair over her shoulder and put her hand on her jutted-out hip. She leaned all of her 115 pound body onto the banister and smiled down at me.  
“Because I can always be thinner. You could to you know. Mom’s working out upstairs and I’m joining her. Wanna come? You could use it anyways.” I narrow my eyes at her, pausing in my scrolling for that exact thing. It isn’t the first time she’s said something like this, and it probably won’t be the last either.  
“No I’m good. Thanks though.” I tell her, my voice dripping with sarcasm like a well cooked hamburger fresh off the grill.  
“Ugh. Whatever, you probably can't change anyways. After all, who wants to look at your fat rolls when you’re walking around in regular clothes, let alone a bikini. ” She pushed herself off with a big sigh, and walked upstairs again, slamming the door behind her. Lucy gave a small woof and rolled over. I chuckled.  
“You said it.” After a few more hours of looking, nothing sounded right. Crossfit is too intense, 24 Hour Fitness sounds okay, but I want other options. LA Fitness, Planet Fitness, I even look at workouts for pregnant women. I can't find anything I could do!  
“Mo-om! Can I go to Shana & Sarah’s beach party?” Huh? Who are they?  
Ding.  
SHELBY: Hey babe! My sisters r havin a beach party tmrrw, wanna come ovr?  
Oh, Shelby’s sister. She always talks about her but I’ve never actually met her, she's one of the girls who’s up there on the soicall ladder. Not snooty or anything, just up there. Not my kind.  
ME: Do I have to wear a swimsuit?  
SHELBY: Well duh, it's a beach prty!  
ME: . . . I’ll think about it.  
Well, if I want to get comfortable, I guess there's no time like the present, right?  
“Only if your sister goes with you. And let her know that I got her something the other day, it’s sitting in her room.”  
“CHRISTINAAA!”

Oh. Crap. School seems to not be able to get over this party. 1st Period Physics and 2nd Period Stats reveals that beach attire is not required but highly preferred. 3rd Period Art and 4th Period A.P. Government sitting at the table next to all of the sports kids tell me that Shana rented a section of beach and that anyone who's anyone is gonna be there. Great, even more people.  
“Hey Chris!” I turn around and smile.  
“Hey Kevin. What’s up?” A look of shock crosses his tanned face.  
“What's up? What's up? Best friend and that's all I get?” His eyes are lit with humor and I laugh at him.  
“Uh, yeah. Pretty much.” He rolls his eyes at me and slings his arm around my shoulders. Taking my bag he steers me towards his car as the bell rings.  
“You ready for the party?”  
“Ugh, why is that all anyone is talking about?” He rolls his eyes at me and opens the truck door, tossing my bag at my feet.  
“I’m just asking. Why don't you want to go? There gonna be a grill and bonfire and lots of people…”  
“Exactly! People! Everyone’s gonna look at me.” He sighs at me and swivels his head as he switches lanes and heads toward the highway, away from the road that would lead to my house. I know from experience that asking where we’re going won't help any so I switch on the radio, chuckle as he makes a face at my choice of a Hip-Hop and R&B station, and slouches against his seat, putting the car in cruise.  
“I’ll wake you when we get there.”

“Hell?”  
“Nah, you'd be the one driving if it was.” I shake my head at him with a grin and lean back, taking his advice and settling in.  
“Wake up. We're here.” Sunlight floods my eyes and I groan as I throw my arm back over them. Kevin laughs at me and drags my arm back, pulling me out of the car. I slowly look up at Kevin and glare at him.  
“Why do I smell salt?” The sound of waves catches my ears. “And hear waves?” He smiles cheerily at me.  
“Turn around.” I slowly turn around and groan. The white crest of the waves glint in the fading sun, the heat of its rays warming my skin, the smell of salt enters my nostrils and fills me with day dreams of when I can walk around without having everyone stare at me. The sound of giggling teenagers knocks me out and back to reality. I glare back at Kevin with my hands on my hips.  
“Take me home.” He looks at me with a puzzled expression.  
“Why? Don't you like it out here?” I shake my head and tell him again. He scoffs and shakes his head, this time putting his hands on his hips as well.  
“Kevin I don't want to go to the beach you know that!” He looks at me confused, then starts to laugh

I know, that showy its sofunny!. He looks at me, and goes right back to laughing.  
“Kevin this isn't funny I’m serious. s. I do not want to be here!” He keeps laughing for a few minutes, then walks up to me and places his hands on my shoulders.  
“Turn around.” He twists me around and pushes me forward, making me stumble as he takes off toward the now visible track. 

“Race you there!” After a few hours of running, and a music filled ride home, I felt a little bit better. I walked inside and start to go downstairs to my room. I open up my closet and there it is. A yellow, high-waisted, polka dot bikini. Ready to be tried on for the last 3 years. I take a deep breath and reach for it. Here goes nothing.  
I put the top on. I try again. And again? Phew, there we go. I look in the mirror and smile at myself. It fits, good. Well, not that it fits good but it fits. I look in the mirror and see the top of my 34D chest spilling over the top a bit, and spilling out a little bit underneath my arms. One down, one to go. I look at the bottoms laying on my bed and nod to myself.  
Okay, let’s do this.  
I pull the bottoms up, breathing slowly as to not accidentally rip it. One inch, and another, and another, and, wait. Wait, why won’t it come up? Another pull, another tug, leaning against the bed, and sitting on the floor, pulling as hard as I can. Still nothing.  
“So this is all for nothing. Great. Just fucking perfect. UGH!” I get so angry I start hyperventilating and I sit down, relying on the wall to hold me up.  
RIINNGG! RIINNGG! RIINNGG! I sigh and look down at my purse. My phone screen is lit up and I debate whether or not I really want to answer it. I decide no, and close my eyes. The phone stops ringing and then starts again. I take a deep breath and reach down, picking up the phone. 

“Hello?”  
“Christ Hospital, Jesus speaking. How may I help you?” I sigh and walk over to my bed and flop down on it, kicking of the swimsuit bottoms.  
“Kevin now really isn’t the time.” He scoffs and starts to talk about the track. I’m not interested in this and even as I try to tell him he keeps rambling on. I rein in a yawn and get up to change, putting Kevin on speakerphone.  
“And it’s gonna be even better tomorrow cause I heard the party is right by that track and…”  
“I’mnotgoingtotheparty.” Silence.  
“Say that again? I know I didn’t hear you right.”  
“I’m not going to the party. My swimsuit doesn’t fit.” Kevin groans and I can imagine him slinging his arm over his eyes.  
“I’m just not comfortable. Everyone is going to be staring at me and my fat rolls and it’s gonna be like, really uncomfortable.” I sit down in my pajamas and play with the ends of my hair.  
“It’s gonna be fine. You don’t have to wear a swimsuit.”  
“Yeah you really shouldn’t, it’s gonna look really bad on me if you do.” My sister’s voice makes me look up and I glare at her standing by the open door. My face burns like hot chili with embarrassment and shame when I realize that I hadn’t taken the phone off of speaker.  
“Get the hell out of my room!” I shout at her and rush toward her. She squeak and runs away, giggling as I slam the door behind her.  
“Christina? Chris are you okay?” I nod, then respond when I realize he can’t hear me.  
“I guess so, not the first time.” An exhale of relief comes through the phone.  
“Well, just think about it okay? It’ll be fun and I’ll be there and so will the rest of the guys. Think about it?” I slump onto my bed, not even bothering to turn off the lights.  
“What’s wrong with being, what’s wrong with being, what’s wrong with being confident?” Demi Lovato blares through my phone as my alarm clock rings. I sigh and get out of bed, turning off my alarms and get up, throwing the blankets off off me, my pillow sliding on the ground. A rustle catches my ear and I look around.  
“Closet? No, what about under the bed? Not there either. Pillow? Just a Macy’s bag. Bathroom, wait. Macy’s?” I drop onto the ground, look into the bag, and smile at the contents inside.  
“Only if your sister goes with you. And let her know that I got her something the other day, it’s sitting in her room.”  
“Thanks mom.” RIINNGG! RIINNGG! RIINNGG! I look back up at my phone sitting on the bed.  
“Hey Kevin! I’m going, see you tonight!”  
“What? What happened? Chri-” I hung up the phone and ran to my closet, grabbing my clothes, oh this was going to be fun!  
School passed by way too slow, but soon I was in teh car with my sister, driving to teh party.  
“At least try not to make a fool of yourself okay?” I rolled my eyes and laughed.  
“Yeah Cas, I'll be sure to do that.” We get out of the car and my heart stops. The music beats through the air like I do mashed potatoes with a fork and the lights flash all around us. Expensive tents and tables are set up adm we both look at each other with a grin.  
“CHRISSY!” I turn around only to be swept off my feet by a pair of hug arms.  
“Eli! Hey!” I give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, doing the same with the rest of my cousins when they walk over. They drag me off and I wave back to my sister as she is pulled away by her boyfriend. I see her later that night, dancing with Shana and then again eating by the chocolate fountain, but not much else. Eli and his brother John keep me pretty busy, inadvertently helping me keep my mind off what I’m wearing underneath. Then they arrive.  
We all have the popular kids in school, well mine were named Mitzy and Macy. Yaah dumb right?  
“Ugh, look who decided to show up. What are you even wearing?” Macy said.  
“Who even has American Eagle? They went out of store like, 3 months ago. And what’s with the jacket? Don’t you know how to party?” I smirk and take off my jacket, leaning back against the railing of the beach house.  
“Yeah actually I do.” Then they start.  
“OMG! Look at that!”  
“WHo’d actually wear something that ugly!”  
“Wow, I can’t believed she showed up in that!”  
“HEY!” Eli yells! He pulls me to him and my cousins form a circle around me. I look from John to Eli and Dylan to Matthew. I raise an eyebrow.  
“What?”  
“Sheeee wooorrre annn. . .itsy-bitsy teenie-weenie yellow polka dot bikini, that she wore for the first time today! HEY! An itsy-bitsy teenie-weenie yellow polka dot bikini..” They sing. I stare at them for a second, then laugh and join in for the next verse. And then everyone else joins in, making me forget about the girls and finally relax. The party goes on for a few more hours, all of us dancing and weaving in and out of the crowd, people pointing at me and singing the song whenever they see me. Kevin eventually looks at me and grins.  
“Are you having fun?” I smile.  
“Of course I am. It’s summer time!”

**Author's Note:**

> If you are a bigger girl and want to know where you can get swimsuits you can feel confident in (even a two piece) check out swimsuitsforall.com! I love this website because I am 170+ (on a good day) and I can find bikinis here that I feel comfortable in and are a good price!


End file.
